December 3, 2023

That hollow feeling in your chest? It’s a bit of a mystery, right? Is it sadness? Boredom? Maybe a mix of everything in between.

Feeling this way? Pretty common, actually. Some might label it as “feeling empty,” while others could have their own spin on it. What really counts is that it’s legit, totally real. Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but it’s something you can navigate.

Figuring out what’s brewing beneath that feeling? Not exactly a walk in the park, but it’s doable, and it’s a good starting point to get a handle on things. Sometimes it’s a quick visit – sticks around for a few days and then vanishes on its own. Other times? It camps out for a good two weeks or more. That’s when spotting those tricky mind games and teaming up with a mental health professional can turn things around.

What’s behind feeling empty?

Experiencing emptiness might show up as feelings of isolation, being lost about where you’re headed, or just lacking the drive to chase after anything. It’s kind of a common thing, you know? That hollow feeling sneaking into your heart happens to most individuals at some point. Loads of stuff can trigger it—like hormones doing their rollercoaster thing, losing a job, or the whole social distancing gig we’ve had to deal with lately. Whenever life throws you into self-reflection mode, that’s another invite for this temporary emptiness to show up.

Now, it’s not a one-size-fits-all deal, but feeling empty might sometimes point to bigger stuff like depression, bipolar disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Figuring that out? Definitely a job for the mental health professional.

But what goes down when a feeling of emptiness sticks around 24/7?

You’re disconnected from who you are: It’s pretty normal for someone to drift away from themselves every now and then. When you’re not really in tune with who you are, that lingering feeling of emptiness tends to stick around.

Ever heard the term “living without a purpose”? It’s like wandering without a map, not quite sure of your identity or where you’re headed. And when there’s no specific aim or dream in sight? That’s another one that can leave you feeling that hollowness.

Sometimes, losing touch with yourself happens because of various life stuff—could be a really intense relationship or a job that takes up all your headspace.

Past experiences that still need sorting: Occasionally, that lingering sadness might link back to some deep-seated grief you haven’t really tackled.It could be something tough from your childhood or feeling abandoned by someone close to you.

See, when we keep those old emotions locked up, they tend to find other ways to come out. Talking through those tough experiences, even if it hurts, can actually help process that pain. If it’s hitting hard, teaming up with a mental health professional could be a game-changer.

Neglecting self-care: Sometimes, putting others ahead of yourself becomes the default setting. It’s like your own needs take a backseat, and that can leave you feeling pretty hollow.Sure, making others happy gives you a buzz too, right? But here’s the thing: supporting others doesn’t mean forgetting about yourself.

Taking care of you? That’s just as important. When you’ve got your needs covered, you’re actually in a better spot to be there for others.Ignoring your own dreams and wishes? That’s a surefire way to feel that emptiness.

Skipping out on your own needs? That can whip up a mix of anxiety, guilt, and shame, leading to that “empty” feeling.

And, social media? That can be a tricky place. Often, what you see there isn’t real life—it’s a highlight reel. Comparing yourself to that? It’s a recipe for feeling like your own life isn’t up to snuff.

Lack of meaningful relationships: A Study of Adult Development, which has been going on for ages, uncovered something big: having solid, close relationships is what really matters in life.It’s not about how many friends you rack up, but the real deal is the quality of those connections.

You know, having someone who really gets you, listens up, and gives you a shoulder to lean on? That’s the good stuff. When that’s missing, it can stir up those feelings of emptiness and loneliness.

Is emptiness identical to depression?

Depression is a complex mental health condition with quite a few symptoms on its roster:

– Feeling drained and unmotivated

– Constant sadness hanging around

– A never-ending sense of hopelessness

– Messed-up sleep patterns—too much or too little

– Struggling to focus on anything

– Not finding joy in things or people

– Feeling majorly guilty or worthless

Now, here’s the twist: that empty, numb feeling? Turns out, it can also be a tagalong symptom of depression. For some individuals dealing with depression, that void feeling takes center stage instead of the typical sadness. It’s like feeling detached, not really caring about stuff or finding any sparks in things. But, feeling empty isn’t always a stamp that says “depression.” The real deal diagnosis? That’s the job of a mental health professional—they’re the ones who can give you the lowdown accurately.

How can you shake off that empty feeling?

It’s totally normal to be concerned when you notice a shift in yourself. Acknowledging that and taking action is the first step to finding your way back to feeling better. Connecting with a mental health professional can be a game-changer. Therapists are wizards at helping you navigate those feelings, digging into what’s causing that numbness, and figuring out a plan that suits you best.

Stopping that empty feeling? Well, it’s a bit like detective work. If it’s linked to a specific event, like a rough experience, tackling that might be key. And if it’s been lingering, therapy can help uncover the whys behind it all.

Acknowledge the emptiness: When that emptiness feels like this huge, gaping hole inside, be kind to yourself.You’re doing your best, remember that. Guilt often creeps in, but don’t let it stop you from reaching out for support.Start by giving your own feelings and needs a nod. Even if it’s tough, try not to brush yourself and what you’re feeling under the rug.

If you figure out that these feelings tie back to a loss you’ve faced, it might be time to give yourself permission to grieve. Grief is a personal journey—no right or wrong way to navigate it. Once you acknowledge those losses, you might find yourself going through stages of grief. Maybe it’s about someone who’s left your life, whether physically or emotionally. Talking with yourself with a dose of kindness as you wade through these feelings and past experiences. You know, talk to yourself like you would to a good friend in need.

Every day make time for yourself: Sometimes, when you’re not up for diving into your feelings, it’s normal to seek distractions. You might find yourself hanging out with friends or diving into a marathon of video games.Try resisting that pull and carve out time for some self-reflection. Take a breather to explore what’s bubbling up inside—your desires, fears, hopes, and dreams.

Different strokes for different individuals, right? Some might find solace in meditation, writing, or sweating it out with exercise. It’s about finding what clicks for you. Sure, it might feel a bit odd at first, but the more you make space and care for yourself, the less those empty feelings tend to stick around.

Named out your current feelings: Here’s a cool trick: Set a timer for just 5 minutes and check in with how you’re feeling in the moment.You could jot down whatever pops into your head—maybe “bored,” “distracted,” or “curious.” And if you’re drawing a blank on emotions, try looking up a “feelings list”.

Another tip: Focus on a specific part of your body, like your hand or your head. Then, tune into the sensations there—things like temperature, tension, or movement.

Making this a daily practice can help you dive deeper into understanding yourself.

Explore the feelings of emptiness: Journaling could be a helpful tool in tackling those feelings of emptiness.To get started, some key questions:

– Am I being too hard on myself or constantly comparing myself to others?

– What kind of self-talk do I engage in? Do I uplift myself or am I quick to notice my failures?

– Are my emotions given space in my relationships, or am I downplaying what I truly feel?

– How well am I taking care of my physical and health needs?

– Have I turned to certain habits or addictions to dodge confronting my emotions?

– Am I solely focused on meeting others’ needs?

– What’s my underlying goal or motivation in certain situations?

– Do I tend to blame myself or carry guilt for things that are beyond my control?

– Am I extending compassion to myself as I would to a close friend or family member?

– How much do I stand up for my decisions and respect my own opinions?

Make connections with others: Once you’ve spent some time processing your feelings, reaching out to others might be a good move.Getting in touch with friends or family can really lift your spirits, especially if you can open up to them about what’s going on.Consider regularly hanging out with loved ones, and bonding over shared hobbies or interests—it’s a great way to find some comfort and support.

Practicing self-care: When you’re dealing with depression or grief, it’s common to let self-care slip a bit. There’s no shame in that. Taking care of yourself can actually help lift your mood.

• Start with the basics, make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and moving your body. Hunger and exhaustion can sometimes make those negative feelings worse.
• Find healthy ways to let your emotions out—like jotting them down in a journal or diving into a new hobby.
• Mindfulness practices, such as yoga or meditation, are often recommended for managing depression and anxiety. You can find quick yoga workouts on YouTube or try a meditation mobile application for a short session.
• And, about social media? Consider scaling back a bit. Sometimes, what you see online isn’t real life—it’s like watching a cool sci-fi flick that’s far from reality. Remind yourself of that when you’re scrolling through.

Guide yourself: You’re doing your best with what you’ve got.You know, even as kids, some individuals figure out ways to shield themselves from getting hurt. Maybe it meant burying feelings. Actually, that was a smart move you made when you were young and feeling powerless.It’s time to pat yourself on the back for all the ways you’ve handled stuff in your life.

But, now it might be time to let those feelings out. You’ve got some catching up to do, but there’s no need to rush things and toss aside the survival tactics that worked for you in the past.

Finally, if it overwhelmed seek Help

When that emptiness starts steering towards more troubling thoughts, it might be time to consider therapy. Therapy isn’t just about getting help—it’s about empowering you to make choices that lead to positive changes.

And, if you’re experiencing symptoms of depression, finding it tough to tackle your daily routine, or even having thoughts about hurting yourself or others, a mental health professional can step in and lend a hand.

Mahmoud Hasan Rana
Psychologist
MS in Clinical Psychology

Sources

• Aalbers G, et al. (2019). Social media and depression symptoms: A network perspective.
  https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2018-61357-001
• Depression.(2020).
  https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression

Hunt MG, et al. (2018). No more FOMO: Limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression.
https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2018.37.10.751

Parenting is a term that often goes utter with lots of instructions. However, it is said that there is no hard and fast rule for parenting, parenting adolescent children is different from parenting toddler or infant. We adults often forget that adolescence is the period where he/she is on the way to adulthood thus, people from this group expects to be treated like an adult. Therefore, where children need more warmth, attention, and physical comfort, adolescents need unconditional support, respect, trust, understanding, and most importantly being friends with them. However, the adolescent period is itself stormy, thus a slight deviation in support and understanding might result in detachment from parents.

At this stage few steps that could be beneficial both for the adolescent and parents are:

1. Make friends with your adolescent child.
2. Be his/her diary, which means let her share everything with you.
3. Be patient about your adolescent child’s any sort of wrong turn, don’t try to rectify it immediately.
4. Maintain a proper explanation for everything.
5. Let him/her be independent.
6. Let her make decisions independently.
7. Try to give support on the issues which are stressing him/her.
8. Encourage her/his self-care activities.
9. Praise him/her for positive initiatives.
10.  Encourage involvement in Extracurricular activities which could help to boost her/his self-esteem, coping and confidence.

Maintaining relationships is always challenging. The struggle is more when the person is an adolescent or teenager. This does not need to be mentioned that like any other relationship keeping an intimate relationship is also stressful. Here we want to emphasize the relationship turmoil which are often faced by adolescents. Adolescence is the age of storm due to its several physical and psychological changes. Thus, when an adolescent starts their intimate relationship journey, he/she often finds it more conflicting and upheaval.

The issues that are mostly faced by adolescents in an intimate relationship are-

• Adolescent couples often feel distrust toward each other
• Face difficulties in regulating emotions
• Being over-reactive behavior
• Faulty communication pattern
• Easily draw conclusion
• Over- dependent on the partner

There are also many benefits of healthy relationships at this stage of life, such as Increased interpersonal skills, social skills, keeping commitment, etc. Like other Asian cultures, adolescents in Bangladesh face few parental restrictions due to its conservative outlook which often being suffocating for the couple. However, the issue that mostly impacts the adolescent couple is the inability to control oneself after the breakup. It is often found that the emotional suffering after a breakup couldn’t endured by the young lover and some attempted self-harm as well as suicide.

Generally, people who commit or attempt suicide are those who can’t regulate their emotions. This emotion regulation is such a skill that is needed to learn and excel by every adolescent. Thus, it is said that if we can’t love ourselves, we won’t be able to love and give comfort to others whether in intimate or interpersonal relationships.