Experiencing a breakup can be challenging, whether it’s from a romantic partner, spouse, life partner, or close friend. The healing process takes time and involves five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are a natural part of recovering emotionally.
Stage 1- Denial: Denial is a protective mechanism your mind uses to cope with unwelcome news. It allows your heart time to adjust to the new situation. During this phase, you might hope for reconciliation or think your partner will return. The duration of denial varies for everyone. Lean on friends and family for support.
Stage 2- Anger: Feeling angry at your former partner is normal. You might blame them for the pain you’re experiencing or for disrupting your life. Avoid making rash decisions during this phase. Channel your anger through healthy outlets such as exercise or creative activities. Writing in a journal can help you process your emotions.
Stage 3- Bargaining: During the bargaining stage, you might try to revive the relationship or propose friendship. However, trying to maintain a friendship with your ex, especially soon after a breakup, can prolong your emotional distress. Focus on moving forward independently.
Stage 4- Depression: It’s natural to feel sad as you acknowledge the reality of the situation. This stage involves reflection and acceptance of the breakup. You may prefer solitude, but it’s important to remember that support from others is meant to help, not harm. Resist unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or overeating. Instead, focus on healthy habits such as eating well, sleeping adequately, and exercising.
Stage 5- Acceptance: In this final stage, you come to terms with the breakup, accept what happened, and recognize your role in it. Use this experience as an opportunity to learn from past mistakes and apply those lessons in the future. Although the pain may not disappear entirely, time will help heal the wounds and lead you toward personal growth.
Grief is a deeply personal experience, and what might be the hardest stage for one person can differ greatly for another. The grieving process is not uniform, and there’s no specific timeline for how long each stage should last. Some people may spend months in one stage and skip others entirely, which is completely normal.
Understanding grief means recognizing that everyone’s experience is unique. Each instance of grief can bring different feelings and durations. You might find yourself grieving for a few weeks or it might take years.
If you find it challenging to cope with your emotions and the changes you’re going through, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can provide support and help you navigate these intense emotions, giving you the assurance you need.
Mahmoud Hasan Rana
Psychologist, wEvolve
References:
- Kubler-Ross, D., & Kessler, E. (2014). On grief and grieving. Simon & Schuster.
