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Let’s be real for a moment—work-life balance sounds great in theory, but in practice, it can feel more like chasing a mirage. Every time you think you’re almost there, something changes, and suddenly, you’re knee-deep in deadlines, leaving the “life” part of the equation feeling like an afterthought. If you’re like me, you’ve probably found yourself asking, “Can I really have it all?” Spoiler: Yes, but not in the way we often imagine. Here’s my journey with finding that balance and a few tips that might help you on your own.

In my journey to achieve work-life balance, I discovered that it isn’t about evenly dividing time but rather about knowing your priorities and allowing them to guide your choices. Establishing boundaries, like saying “no” when necessary and limiting work hours, became essential. Accepting that balance is a moving target helped me adapt as my responsibilities and energy levels shifted. This approach involves self-compassion, small adjustments, and the flexibility to focus on different areas of life as needed, leading to a more fulfilling and sustainable sense of balance.

Tips for Finding Your Own Balance

Here are a few tips that helped me move from surviving to thriving in my pursuit of work-life balance:

1. Schedule “Non-Negotiable” Time
This is your sacred time—whether it’s for exercise, family, or simply relaxing with a good book. Block it off on your calendar, just like any important meeting. This helps to ensure that you’re dedicating time to things that recharge you and add joy to your life.

2. Embrace the Power of Small Breaks
I used to think I needed a full day off to feel recharged, but I’ve discovered that small breaks can work wonders. Even a 10-minute walk, a coffee break with a colleague, or five minutes of deep breathing can help reset my focus. Incorporating these short breaks into my day has made a big difference in my overall productivity and mood.

3. Set Clear Work Hours (and Stick to Them)
While this isn’t always possible, especially in high-demand jobs, setting boundaries around work hours can be transformative. If you work from home, this can be particularly challenging, but setting a start and end time for your day creates a psychological boundary between work and personal life.

4. Communicate with Those Around You
I found that one of the biggest barriers to balance was miscommunication. Whether it’s with coworkers, family, or friends, being open about your needs and boundaries helps avoid misunderstandings. Letting people know when you’re available—and when you’re not—can be liberating and helps to manage expectations on both sides.

5. Let Go of Perfectionism
This might be the hardest lesson to learn, but it’s crucial. I had to let go of the idea that I could be 100% at everything all the time. Some days, I’m a great employee; other days, I’m a better friend, partner, or parent. I’ve come to accept that I don’t have to be perfect in every role. Instead, I focus on putting effort, which is more than enough and finding contentment in the process as well as the outcome

Balance as a Journey, Not a Destination

Work-life balance is not about achieving a flawless schedule but rather embracing flexibility and self-compassion as your needs change over time. So here’s my takeaway: You don’t have to be perfect to have balance. Just keep showing up for yourself, listen to what you need, and don’t be afraid to make small adjustments. Balance is not a static goal; it’s a continuous journey, and every step counts.

Nahida Yeasmin
Psychologist, wEvolve

Working long hours in corporate cultures is foolproof to create stressful, unmanageable and unhealthy working habits not just for workers but also for leaders. Remarkably, the majority of business organizations perceive chronic overwork as a moral practice and often give rewards for it. It is a fact that we simply aren’t able to function beyond our biological blueprint. Yes, humans can do impossible things but once we cross the limit, the level of damage that occurs in our mental and physical health is unimaginable. We have some fundamental constraints that we must adhere to.

The prefrontal cortex of our brain which is often regarded as the CEO of the brain occupies approximately 5% of our brain but demands 25% of the energy. Such kind of effort to put on a daily basis, Cal Newport a famous computer scientist mentioned it as “deep work” that we got only 5-6 hours per day to engage ourselves in working. So in short, we do get 5-6 hours to put the best effort every day.

This clearly means, we as humans are biologically restrained from engaging in active or productive work for 10 or 12 hours/day but sadly the practice has been done in many corporate or production, and the upper management assumes it is a normal thing. Things are even worse for the interns as sometimes they need to engage in different activities for the sake of “learning opportunities” but instead they are leaning toward the bad example as the correct one.

So Western societies have started to acknowledge the importance of employees’ mental health and introduced a lot of initiatives like taking mandated leave, working fewer hours on the last day of the week, offering flexible working hours and allowing workers to work from home for certain days. Even some companies have started to provide 3 days leave to see the productivity of the employees. But the East still sticks to the ancestral philosophy of “work more and earn more” methodology. A recent study conducted by Telus Health (2022) found that 4 out of 5 employees in Asia have moderate to high risk in mental health where 45% of employees said that their mental health is negatively affected in their workplace.

Before things turn into worse, can we stop normalizing, celebrating and promoting overwork? Instead, can we start discussing about the methods supported by research to teach people how to work in harmony rather than making a conflict against their peace? Fruit for thoughts.

Joyonto Dasgupto
Psychologist, wEvolve

Attachment is a profound emotional bond that connects one person to another, impacting various aspects of life, from childhood development to adult relationships. This bond, first explored in-depth by British psychologist John Bowlby, is foundational in understanding how relationships shape our behaviors and emotions.

Attachment begins in early childhood and profoundly influences our emotional development. It forms the basis of how we perceive and interact with the world around us. John Bowlby emphasized that children naturally seek closeness to their caregivers for safety and comfort. This bond is essential for their emotional and psychological growth. Mary Ainsworth, a developmental psychologist, expanded on this by studying how different attachment behaviors manifest in children through the “Strange Situation” experiment. This study revealed that children’s reactions to separation and reunion with their caregivers could be categorized into distinct attachment styles: Secure, Anxious-Ambivalent, and Avoidant.

Secure attachment means that children feel confident that their caregivers will meet their needs. They might cry when the caregiver leaves but are easily comforted when they return. This security fosters trust and healthy relationships in adulthood. For instance, a child who feels safe exploring a new environment because they know their parent is nearby, often grows up to be a confident, trusting adult.

Anxious-Ambivalent attachment occurs when children are unsure if their caregivers will consistently meet their needs. They become very distressed when the caregiver leaves and are difficult to soothe upon their return. These children often grow into adults who are insecure and overly dependent in relationships. Imagine a child who constantly clings to their parent, fearing abandonment. This anxiety can lead to clinginess and insecurity in adult relationships.

Avoidant attachment happens when children learn to avoid seeking help or comfort from their caregivers. They show little emotion when the caregiver leaves or returns. These children often struggle with intimacy and emotional closeness as adults. Think of a child who seems indifferent when their parent leaves and doesn’t seek comfort upon their return. This emotional distance can lead to difficulties in forming close, trusting relationships later in life.

Disorganized attachment, identified later by researchers, involves confusing and inconsistent behavior towards caregivers. These children might act strangely or seem fearful. This style often results from trauma or abuse and can cause serious emotional and relational problems in adulthood.

The attachment style we develop in childhood influences many areas of our lives, including how we manage emotions, form relationships, and perceive ourselves. Securely attached individuals generally handle stress better, have healthier relationships, and possess higher self-esteem. On the other hand, insecure attachment can lead to various mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. In therapy, understanding a client’s attachment style is crucial for addressing the root of their issues. Therapists explore early attachment experiences to help clients develop more secure attachment patterns, improve emotional regulation, and enhance relationships.

Attachment is a vital aspect of our emotional and relational lives. Recognizing and addressing attachment issues can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships and improved mental health.

References

1. Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
2. Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
3. Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.
4. Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1986). Discovery of a new, insecure- disorganized/disoriented attachment pattern. In T. B. Brazelton & M. W. Yogman (Eds.), Affective Development in Infancy (pp. 95-124). Ablex Publishing.
5. Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. New York: Guilford Press.

Nahida Yeasmin
Psychologist, wEvolve

The phrase “Do Not Go with the Flow, Be the Flow,” by Elif Shafak, a renowned Turkish-British public speaker, emphasizes the importance of steering one’s life rather than conforming to societal norms. These norms often dictate how one should look, behave, and think, prescribing a conventional path. This phrase serves as a powerful reminder to take control of one’s decisions and life direction, encouraging initiative, self-determination, and leadership. It suggests that instead of passively following the crowd, one should actively create their path and influence their surroundings. Miss J’s experience vividly illustrates this concept in student life. Through proactive choices and dedication to personal development, Miss J transformed her academic journey and distinguished herself as a leader and innovator.

Background

Miss J entered university with common expectations: attending classes, completing assignments, and aiming for high grades. However, she quickly realized that following this conventional path would not provide the enriching and impactful college experience she desired. The traditional flow of student life seemed to offer limited opportunities for personal and academic growth.

Challenges

Miss J encountered several challenges:

• Lack of Engagement: She felt disengaged from lectures and coursework, finding the passive learning environment unfulfilling.
• Limited Opportunities: The standard curriculum provided few chances for exploration and innovation beyond traditional academic boundaries.
• Peer Pressure: Many of her peers were content with the status quo, making it challenging for her to break free from conventional norms.

Strategic Moves

1. Seeking Mentorship: Miss J sought mentors among faculty members and upperclassmen who shared her interests and aspirations. These mentors provided valuable guidance and support, helping her navigate university life.
2. Exploration and Extracurricular Involvement: She actively pursued opportunities beyond the classroom. She joined student organizations, participated in research projects, and secured internships related to her field of interest.
3. Creating Her Own Path: Understanding the importance of taking ownership of her education, she designed her own interdisciplinary study plan, combining courses from various departments to create a personalized learning experience.
4. Innovative Projects: Miss J initiated and collaborated on innovative projects inside and outside the classroom. She worked with peers to develop solutions to real-world problems and started community outreach programs.
5. Networking and Collaboration: Building a strong network of like-minded individuals was crucial to her success. She actively sought opportunities to collaborate with peers, faculty, and professionals in her field, forming valuable connections for her academic and professional journey.

Outcomes

• Academic Excellence: Miss J excelled academically through her proactive approach to learning, earning recognition for her innovative projects and contributions to the academic community.
• Leadership and Influence: She emerged as a leader among her peers, inspiring others to pursue their passions and think creatively.
• Professional Opportunities: Her involvement in extracurricular activities and innovative projects led to internships, research opportunities, and job offers from top companies.
• Personal Growth: Miss J’s journey was not just about academic success but also about personal development and self-discovery. She gained confidence, developed valuable skills, and formed lifelong connections.

Miss J’s journey illustrates the principle of “Do Not Go with the Flow, Be the Flow” within the realm of student life. Through proactive decision-making, a commitment to personal growth, and a willingness to challenge the status quo, she transformed her university experience and became a leader and innovator. Her story serves as an inspiration to students everywhere, demonstrating the transformative power of taking control of one’s education and creating opportunities for growth and impact.

Sumaia Shiju
Psychologist, wEvolve

When facing emotional pain and seeking relief, it’s natural to look to psychologists for immediate solutions. The expectation is often that an expert will provide clear advice to quickly resolve the issue at hand. However, the role of a psychologist is not to simply tell clients what to do. Instead, their approach involves guiding clients through a process that leads to lasting change and personal growth.

The Difference Between Advice and Counseling

It’s important to distinguish between giving advice and providing counseling. Advice typically reflects the advisor’s values, thoughts, and judgments. This approach might not be effective because each client’s situation is unique. Direct advice can sometimes be harmful, as it may prevent clients from developing their problem-solving skills and foster dependency.

A Case History: V’s Journey

Consider the story of Miss V, a young professional struggling with anxiety and indecision about her career. Feeling overwhelmed, she sought help from a psychologist, hoping for straightforward advice on whether to quit her job. Instead of telling her what to do, her psychologist used a different approach.

In their sessions, V’s psychologist helped her explore her feelings and concerns about her job. Through guided conversations, V identified the specific aspects of her work that caused her stress and unease. This process allowed her to see her situation more clearly and consider various options she hadn’t previously thought of.

As V discussed her choices, her psychologist helped her weigh the pros and cons of each potential decision. This included staying in her current job, seeking a new position within the same field, or even changing careers entirely. By examining these options in detail, V was able to understand the possible outcomes and implications of each path.

The psychologist also focused on building V’s decision-making skills. Instead of relying on the psychologist’s judgment, V learned to trust her insights and instincts. This empowerment was crucial, as it helped her gain confidence in her ability to navigate future challenges independently.

Over time, V began to feel more in control of her situation. She decided to stay in her job for the time being, but she also started networking and exploring opportunities in a field she was passionate about. This decision was her own, informed by a deeper understanding of her needs and goals, rather than a directive from her psychologist.

The Benefits of a Collaborative Approach

V’s case illustrates the benefits of a collaborative approach to therapy. By guiding V to explore her options and make informed decisions, the psychologist helped her develop valuable life skills. V learned to analyze her problems critically, consider various solutions, and make decisions that felt right for her.

This method fosters long-term growth and resilience. Clients like V are better prepared to handle future difficulties because they have honed their problem-solving abilities. They become more independent and confident, reducing the likelihood of recurring issues. While it might seem frustrating that a psychologist won’t just give direct advice, this method is designed to empower clients rather than make them dependent. By guiding clients to explore their choices, understand the implications of their decisions, and foster independence, psychologists help individuals achieve lasting personal growth and self-sufficiency. This process ensures that clients are better prepared to handle future challenges on their own. Embracing the process of self-discovery and skill development can lead to profound and lasting changes, ultimately contributing to a more fulfilling and resilient life.

Samia Zaman
Psychologist, wEvolve

Experiencing a breakup can be challenging, whether it’s from a romantic partner, spouse, life partner, or close friend. The healing process takes time and involves five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are a natural part of recovering emotionally.

Stage 1- Denial: Denial is a protective mechanism your mind uses to cope with unwelcome news. It allows your heart time to adjust to the new situation. During this phase, you might hope for reconciliation or think your partner will return. The duration of denial varies for everyone. Lean on friends and family for support.

Stage 2- Anger: Feeling angry at your former partner is normal. You might blame them for the pain you’re experiencing or for disrupting your life. Avoid making rash decisions during this phase. Channel your anger through healthy outlets such as exercise or creative activities. Writing in a journal can help you process your emotions.

Stage 3- Bargaining: During the bargaining stage, you might try to revive the relationship or propose friendship. However, trying to maintain a friendship with your ex, especially soon after a breakup, can prolong your emotional distress. Focus on moving forward independently.

Stage 4- Depression: It’s natural to feel sad as you acknowledge the reality of the situation. This stage involves reflection and acceptance of the breakup. You may prefer solitude, but it’s important to remember that support from others is meant to help, not harm. Resist unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or overeating. Instead, focus on healthy habits such as eating well, sleeping adequately, and exercising.

Stage 5- Acceptance: In this final stage, you come to terms with the breakup, accept what happened, and recognize your role in it. Use this experience as an opportunity to learn from past mistakes and apply those lessons in the future. Although the pain may not disappear entirely, time will help heal the wounds and lead you toward personal growth.

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and what might be the hardest stage for one person can differ greatly for another. The grieving process is not uniform, and there’s no specific timeline for how long each stage should last. Some people may spend months in one stage and skip others entirely, which is completely normal.

Understanding grief means recognizing that everyone’s experience is unique. Each instance of grief can bring different feelings and durations. You might find yourself grieving for a few weeks or it might take years.

If you find it challenging to cope with your emotions and the changes you’re going through, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can provide support and help you navigate these intense emotions, giving you the assurance you need.

Mahmoud Hasan Rana
Psychologist, wEvolve

References:

1. Kubler-Ross, D., & Kessler, E. (2014). On grief and grieving. Simon & Schuster.

Social skills encompass a diverse set of abilities crucial for navigating social situations effectively. They enable individuals to communicate, problem-solve, make decisions, manage themselves, and foster positive relationships with peers. Research indicates that girls tend to exhibit higher levels of social skills compared to boys, which correlates with academic success, including higher CGPAs, improved attendance rates, and fewer disciplinary issues.

Types of social skills include:

• Emotional Recognition and Response: The ability to perceive and appropriately react to emotions in others.
• Effective Communication: Mastery of both verbal and non-verbal communication techniques to convey messages clearly and accurately.
• Conflict Resolution: Understanding the sources and expectations within conflict situations and employing adaptive strategies to resolve conflicts.
• Emotional Self-Regulation: Managing one’s own emotions to maintain composure and handle situations calmly.
• Social Problem Solving: Applying critical thinking skills to address social challenges and find constructive solutions.
• Acceptance and Tolerance: Cultivating an open-minded and respectful attitude towards others, regardless of differences.
• Assertiveness: Advocating for oneself while respecting the rights and perspectives of others.

However, several barriers can impede effective communication:

• Unclear Processes: Differences in language, slang, jargon, vocabulary, or symbols between sender and receiver can lead to misunderstanding.
• Complex Chain of Command: Messages passing through numerous layers within an organization can distort or delay communication.
• Organizational Size and Geographic Distance: Large organizations or significant geographical distances can hinder efficient message transmission.
• Personal Limitations: Physical or mental disabilities, variances in intelligence, or disparities in education may hinder mutual understanding.

Overcoming these barriers requires awareness, adaptability, and proactive efforts to foster clear, respectful communication channels.

MAHJAREEN BINTA GAFFAR
Clinical Psychologist, wEvolve

“Some of my actions remind my father’s existence in myself who often didn’t give his wife the respect she deserved. He often beat my mother for nothing and scolded her if he found anything wrong” while saying those words, Shopon (pseudo name) was looking at a corner, for a long time. He has been taking counselling sessions for quite a while and during the session he explored such things which made him angry, trying to burst out the anger but tending to remain silent, sitting like a numb person.  In the complex artwork of humanity, there is a thread that runs across generations which is often unseen yet makes a powerful impact in society to society. This thread portrays generational trauma, the secret inheritance of sorrow and suffering from ancestors to descendants. Like Shopon, people around us are suffering from trauma that has been carrying over the years.

So what is Generational Trauma?

The term “generational trauma,” sometimes referred to as “intergenerational trauma,” describes how stressful events or traumatic experiences are passed down from one generation to the next. This particular kind of trauma is frequently brought on by firsthand experiences, seeing violent acts, or living in situations where there is always a threat of violence. These kinds of trauma might show up as anxiety, despair, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The generational trauma can result from both social and emotional challenges, as well as issues with mental and physical health. For example, like Shopon children who witness adverse childhood experiences in the earlier stages of life like domestic abuse or violence may experience anxiety or depression as adults. As a result, forming intimate relationships and trusting others can be difficult for them to establish, and the cycle of unresolved trauma may run from generation to generation.

How Does Generational Trauma Occur?

Generational trauma can be caused by various reasons like cultural dislocation, fighting with poverty through decades, lack of access from getting human rights and other opportunities, violence, oppression, natural disasters, war, genocide, etc. When these traumatic experiences are passed down from generation to generation, they affect how people think, feel, and behave. Many factors can contribute to generational trauma.

The Signs and Symptoms of Generational Trauma

Just like any other form of trauma, generational trauma also contains signs and symptoms. About that, Dr. Reshwana Chapple (Ph.D., LCSW) said “The symptoms of generational trauma include hypervigilance, fears of death or no hope for the future, mistrust of outsiders, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), low self-esteem, issues of addiction, domestic violence, and sexual abuse.” – Talkspace.

The signs of generational trauma include,

Anxiety	Substance Abuse Disorder	Fear of death
Depression	Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)	Anger issues
Low self-esteem	Insomnia	Difficulty trusting others

How to Deal with it?

• Figuring out and accepting the effects of past traumas; is the first step in healing from generational trauma. Talking about the experiences as a trauma survivor with someone who can be trusted will be worthwhile.
• Exerting self-care is a must. Learn to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. This might include taking some time for oneself, going out for a walk, exercising, relaxation techniques, outdoor time, or eating a healthy diet.
• Making connections with people who have gone through similar things as you and can relate to you can be quite helpful. For those impacted by particular kinds of trauma, support groups are frequently offered.
• And finally seeking support from mental health professionals trained in trauma-informed care can provide individuals and families with tools and strategies for processing inherited trauma and building resilience.

It’s common for intergenerational trauma to go untreated. This might be attributed to people’s lack of awareness that what they’re experiencing is a result of unresolved trauma from the past that has been inherited by subsequent generations.

In order to process the complex emotions associated with intergenerational trauma, various forms of therapy can offer support and direction. Consult a trauma therapist or other mental health specialist if you have experienced generational trauma. They are able to evaluate your position. Seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness; in fact, it takes a great deal of bravery.

References:

1. What is generational trauma? — talkspace. Available at: https://www.talkspace.com/blog/generational-trauma/ (Accessed: 05 May 2024).
2. Generational trauma: Breaking the cycle of adverse childhood experiences (no date a) IU Health. Available at: https://iuhealth.org/thrive/generational-trauma-breaking-the-cycle-of-adverse-childhood-experiences (Accessed: 05 May 2024).
3. How does trauma spill from one generation to the next? Available at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/06/12/generational-trauma-passed-healing/ (Accessed: 05 May 2024).

Joyonto Dasgupto
Psychologist, wEvolve

“Unleashing the Potential of Habit” refers to tapping into the power and influence of habits to bring about positive change and personal growth. Habits, whether they are beneficial or detrimental, have a significant impact on our daily lives, actions, and outcomes. The power of habits lies in their ability to shape our daily actions and behaviors automatically, without requiring constant conscious thought. Formed through repetition, habits restructure tasks, making them more efficient and less mentally taxing. They significantly influence our choices, behaviors, and progress towards long-term goals. Operating within a loop of cue, routine, and reward, habits are deeply rooted in the brain’s basal ganglia, making them persistent and impactful. Harnessing the power of habits allows individuals to foster positive changes, achieve personal and professional growth, and navigate life more effectively.

The Golden Rule of Habit Change revolves around the idea of maintaining the cues and rewards of an existing habit while introducing a new routine. This approach recognizes that habits are formed through a cycle of cues, routines, and rewards.

Example of Late-Night Snacking Habit-

• Cue- Feeling bored or watching TV in the evening.

• Routine- Eating chips or cookies as a snack.

• Reward- A feeling of comfort or distraction from boredom.

To change this late-night snacking habit using the Golden Rule:

– Keep the Cue and Reward: Acknowledge the feeling of boredom or the desire for distraction (the cue) and the comfort or distraction achieved by eating (the reward).

-Replace the Routine: Instead of eating chips or cookies, introduce a new behavior that still addresses the cue and leads to the reward.

 Alternative Routines:

• Drink Herbal Tea: Sipping on a cup of herbal tea can provide warmth and comfort, satisfying the need for a comforting routine without the extra calories.
• Take a Walk: Going for a short walk can distract from boredom and provide a change of scenery, addressing the cue of feeling bored.
• Practice a Hobby: Engaging in a hobby like reading, drawing, or crafting can offer distraction and comfort, serving as a substitute for snacking.

By retaining the same cues and rewards while altering the routine, you can effectively change the habit of late-night snacking to a healthier alternative, aligning with the Golden Rule of Habit Change.

Reference:

Duhigg, Charles. 2013. The Power of Habit. London, England: Random House Books.

Sumaia Shiju
Psychologist, wEvolve

Cognitive distortions are habitual patterns of thinking that are irrational and negatively biased, distorting our perceptions of ourselves, others, and the world. These distortions can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and depression, impacting our overall mental well-being. Recognizing and challenging these distortions is crucial for maintaining psychological health and promoting positive thought patterns.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking): This distortion involves viewing situations in extreme terms, with no middle ground. For example, someone might believe that if they’re not the best at something, they’re a total failure. This type of thinking overlooks the complexities of life and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
2. Catastrophizing: This distortion involves expecting the worst possible outcome in any situation, regardless of the evidence. For instance, someone might catastrophize a minor setback, believing it will have catastrophic consequences for their future. This type of thinking magnifies problems out of proportion and can lead to unnecessary anxiety and distress.
3. Mind Reading: This distortion involves assuming we know what others are thinking or feeling, often jumping to negative conclusions. For example, someone might assume that a friend is angry with them without any evidence to support this belief. This type of thinking can strain relationships and lead to unnecessary conflict.
4. Filtering (Selective Attention): This distortion involves focusing exclusively on negative aspects of a situation while ignoring any positive elements. For instance, someone might receive numerous compliments on their work but choose to focus only on one critical comment. This type of thinking can reinforce negative self-perceptions and undermine self-esteem.
5. Overgeneralization: This distortion involves drawing broad conclusions based on limited evidence, usually from a single negative experience. For example, someone might believe that they’ll never succeed in relationships after one breakup. This type of thinking overlooks the possibility of positive outcomes and can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair.
6. Personalization: This distortion involves taking responsibility for events outside of our control, attributing negative outcomes to ourselves without considering other factors. For example, someone might blame themselves for a friend’s bad mood, assuming they caused it. This type of thinking can lead to excessive guilt and self-blame.
7. Labeling: This distortion involves applying negative labels to ourselves or others based on behavior or characteristics. For example, someone might label themselves as a “failure” for making a mistake at work. This type of thinking oversimplifies complex situations and can reinforce negative self-identity.
8. Should Statements: This distortion involves imposing rigid rules or standards on ourselves or others, leading to feelings of guilt or inadequacy when these standards aren’t met. For example, someone might believe they “should” always be productive, leading to burnout and self-criticism when they take time for rest. This type of thinking can create unnecessary pressure and hinder self-compassion.

By becoming aware of these cognitive distortions and challenging them with more balanced and realistic thoughts, individuals can cultivate greater emotional resilience and well-being. Seeking support from mental health professionals, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can also be instrumental in addressing these distortions and promoting healthier thought patterns.

Reference:

• Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond. Guilford Press.

Nahida Yeasmin
Psychologist, wEvolve